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Secret Sister gift exchange scam
Every holiday season, a cheerful invitation goes around Facebook, Instagram and email: buy one gift worth about $10, mail it to a "secret sister" you've never met, and you'll get up to 36 gifts back. Other versions swap the gift for a bottle of wine or bourbon, a "Secret Santa Dog" toy, or money sent by e-transfer to "pay it forward".
It feels like a friendly Secret Santa, and it often arrives from a friend you trust. But the Better Business Bureau and state consumer protection officials describe it as a pyramid scheme, not a real gift exchange.
What the message looks like
From: A Facebook post shared by a friend
Secret Sister holiday exchange! Buy ONE gift worth $10 or more and mail it to the sister in spot #1. You'll get up to 36 gifts back!
Comment "I'm in" and I'll message you the list. Then copy this post and invite 6 friends. Keep it secret for the good of the sisterhood!
How this scam works
The post asks you to add your name and mailing address to a list of strangers, send a gift to the person at the top, and then invite several friends to do the same. You're promised that as the list moves, gifts will pour in from people further down.
That only works if new people keep joining forever. The BBB explains that, like any pyramid scheme, it depends on constant recruiting. When people stop signing up, the gifts stop too, and most participants are left having bought and shipped gifts for strangers without getting much, if anything, back.
There's a second cost. You've shared your home address and email, plus your friends' details, with people you don't know. The BBB warns that even a few pieces of personal information can expose you to future scams or identity theft.
The BBB also notes that pyramid schemes are illegal in the US and Canada. Michigan's attorney general's office lists "Secret Sister" as a non-cash gifting scheme and says real gifting circles don't depend on recruiting people to pay those above them.
Red flags
- A promise that one small gift will bring back many more, such as "up to 36".
- Instructions to recruit a set number of friends and copy the post.
- A list of strangers' names and home addresses that you're asked to join.
- Requests to send money by e-transfer or payment app to someone on a list.
- Pressure to keep it secret, or claims that it's legal or approved by the government.
How to tell it’s fake
- Ask: does it only work if more and more people join? A real Secret Santa among friends has a fixed group and no promise of extra gifts.
- Look for a list of strangers and a recruiting step. That combination is what makes it a pyramid.
- If a friend shared it, check with them directly. They probably meant well and didn't know it was a scheme.
What to do if you clicked, paid or shared info
Don’t panic, and don’t blame yourself. These scams are built by professionals. Act quickly, one step at a time.
If you clicked a link or called back
- If you only commented or liked the post, there's nothing to fix. Ignore follow-up messages, and report the post to the platform if you can.
If you paid
- If you sent money through a payment app or e-transfer, contact the app or your bank right away, report it and ask whether it can be reversed. Don't send more to "move up" the list.
If you shared personal info, a password or a code
- If you shared your address or email, watch for unexpected mail, packages, phishing emails or messages that use your name. Never share friends' personal details to join anything.
- Let the friends you invited know it's a pyramid scheme so they don't sign up or pass it on.
Where to report and get help (U.S.)
If a message seems legit and you’re still not sure, get a second opinion before you act. Reporting helps stop scammers, even if money can’t be recovered. If you are in danger, call 911.
- Your bank or card issuer
Call the number on the back of your card or on your statement, not one from the message. Ask them to stop or reverse the payment and to watch the account. - Federal Trade Commission (FTC) · ReportFraud.ftc.gov
Report the scam and get a step-by-step recovery plan. - FBI Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3) · ic3.gov
Report scams that happened online, especially if money was lost. Include phone numbers, websites and payment details. - AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline · aarp.org helpline
Free, for anyone of any age: trained volunteers help you sort out next steps. 877-908-3360, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern. - IdentityTheft.gov · IdentityTheft.gov
If you shared your Social Security number or someone opened accounts in your name.
How Gmork Scam Guard would warn you
Scam Guard in Chrome and Edge on your computer checks links and pages you open, but a gift-exchange post or message on its own may not trigger a warning. The simple rule is yours to apply: any "exchange" that promises many gifts for one and asks you to recruit others is a pyramid. If you're unsure, ask a scam expert for a second opinion.
Scam Guard can miss things, so the checks above still matter. See what it warns about and what it keeps private.
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Ajouter à OperaQuestions people ask
- Is the Secret Sister gift exchange legal?
- The BBB says pyramid schemes are illegal in the US and Canada, and treats Secret Sister as one. Michigan's attorney general calls it a non-cash gifting scheme.
- My friend posted it. Is she a scammer?
- Probably not. These posts spread through friends who think it's fun. Let her know kindly what it is.
- Can I still do a gift swap with friends?
- Yes. A Secret Santa among people you know, with a fixed group and one gift each, is fine. The problem is recruiting strangers with promises of many gifts.
- Where can I report it?
- Report the post to Facebook or the platform you saw it on. The BBB Scam Tracker also accepts reports.